Monday, February 1, 2010

Heartbreak Warfare

I felt so out of sorts today. I think the text Ty sent me and my foolish email in response threw me off. I've had a slight setback in my "living life" mission. It reminds me of all my stupid decisions involving Jason after we broke up. My irrational behavior more or less ruined any hopes of a reunion, much less a friendship. It's not that I want to be back with Ty. I don't think I do, anyways. But I don't want to burn any bridges. I think I built up this fragile wall of self sufficiency and contentment because I wasn't talking to him. It was easier that way. But, it was bound to happen. I just have to keep moving forward, even though it's so easier to keep looking back...

Also, I feel off with my friendship with Alissa. It's like there's this unspoken tension because we're both vying for the same male's attention. I'm not really actively pursuing the guy, but if they were to get together, I'd be bummed but I wouldn't hold it against her. I can't say the same if the situation was reversed. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to be dating anyone seriously.

HOWEVER, on that note...I think I may have just said yes to a date with my kinda landlord, Adam? Big mistake. I don't know how to say no! This could be disastrous! I can't stand how he calls me "babe" and "hun." I am his neither! I need to find a way out of this date.

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