Sunday, June 27, 2010


I have a reasonable suspicion that Ty has a girlfriend (reason #599 that I need to take a break from facebook). I had a feeling, though. He stopped texting and asking that we "hang out."

So, how do I feel?

I don't really know. Different feelings run through my mind. Sadness. Relief. Confusion. Release. A part of me misses him and is mad that he moved on first (thanks, sinister sarah).  Another part (the more dominate and sane part, might I add), thinks, "Ha, not my problem anymore!" 

I thought I needed Ty. I thought I needed the reassurance, the attention, his ability to take apart my futon and bookshelf, his powertools. I relied on constant texting and contact.

But honestly, I can take my own futon and bookshelf apart. And I can advocate for my own happiness. I can be alone and be okay with it. My phone doesn't have to be constantly buzzing. To quote SATC: "That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore." 

At the end of the day, I don't need him. I need me to the best I can be. And I couldn't be that person when I was with him.


  1. Touche! It might have taken you longer than three months, but I think you have reached clarity...

  2. Yeah, but sometimes I think reaching clarity is a lifelong quest. I appreciate the glimmers of it every now and then, though :-)