Tuesday, May 4, 2010

disclaimer: i am not {certifiably} crazy

I have a voice in my head. Wait, don't get the straight jacket just yet. Let me explain...

This voice, this alter ego, says every negative thing possible to bring me down. Just when I'm getting a grip on life, this voice saunters in, whispering sweet nothings: "You're stupid, you're worthless, you're fat and ugly, no one likes you..."

My alter ego sits, lurking in the shadows, waiting to seize any opportunity of sabotage. I shall call her Sarah.

This is what I would say to my saboteur, Sarah, in a calm, rational, and confident voice:

Sarah, we gotta talk. I don't appreciate you around here anymore. You drive me crazy with your quiet insistence that no one likes me. I am of value, of substance. I am worth being liked. I know people like me! Wait, they have to like me, right? Ok, don't get started!

And another thing, I broke up with Ty for a reason. Don't you remember how unhappy I was? Don't you remember how he cheated on me? Sure, there were good times, but we weren't right for each other. So why don't you let me get over him!? Thanks to you, I compulsively check his Facebook profile; I get upset when he's friends with these attractive girls; I momentarily forget why we broke up; I meet up with him. I'm better than that! I deserve more than that!

I'm not stupid; I'm intelligent. I'm not ugly; I am fairly attractive when I want to be. I'm not severely obese; I'm athletic. Why must you insist on making me have these thoughts of self deprecation?

I'm sick of you, Why don't you bother someone else with thicker skin? That's right, leave....
Sarah slinks off into the background as I tell her off. But, if I listen hard enough, I'll realize her voice sounds a lot like my own. Only slightly more sinister...

Do I still need that straight jacket?


  1. I think it is seriously time to kick Sarah's ass, and if you need any help, you just let me know. You know where to find me, I'll be there, any time.